Freshly Laundered & Hanging Out to Dry: Chapter1, Part3
Still, at the forefront of my thoughts were my mystical longings. I worked a few free-lance jobs, lived with my old roommate again in her new apartment, took meditation-related workshops, and still had no sense of where I belonged in the world.
***
I’m at a two-day workshop that is an introduction to Buddhist meditation. One of my classmates is Robin, a blond sprite-like man with a reddish beard. Between his casual plaid shirt and relaxed attitude, he seems like someone I can confide in. “I wish there were a study group I could continue meditating with.”
He looks at me, as if making a decision.
“I teach a class called Varieties of Religious Experience at the Theological Union. I’m a Jesuit priest. We meditate together regularly. If you were my assistant, you could participate.” So I sign on wondering what the odds are of a Jewish girl being made that offer?
During each class we meditate and study an ancient system of personality types that exposes everyone’s strengths and weaknesses. In addition, we read Middle Eastern teaching stories transmitted by a contemporary Afghani teacher, Idries Shah. Many of the stories are familiar to me in the form of jokes or their similarity to Gracie Allen’s quirky perspective on life, but their main intent is to show patterns of human behavior, interaction, and points of view. Several weeks into the course, after class, Robin hands me a book. It is thick and well worn, the hardcover fabric an uneven faded blue.
“I think you’ll find this interesting,” he says. “It’s John G. Bennett’s autobiography, Witness. He’s a philosopher, eclectic in a way that reminds me of how you think about things.” I take it, more curious to see what Robin thinks is my way of thinking than to read the autobiography of a philosopher I’ve never heard of.
I finish it before the next meeting, entertaining a fresh thought: “Now, here’s someone who would have been interesting to study with.” Even in art school, the idea of studying with an admired artist had never occurred to me. Robin had been correct about my reaction to Bennett.
Central to my interest is Bennett’s conviction that there is a common spiritual foundation underlying all religious paths. I’d never heard any authority say that before.
God is too big to fit into one religion. _Robert A. Heinlein
Bennett and I share a birth date with another hero of mine from the world of art, the architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. These little coincidences catch my attention, making them feel important. Wright’s wife, it turns out, had also studied with one of Bennett’s teachers, G.I. Gurdjieff. That’s another name I’ve heard before. Several of my fellow art students had expressed enough of an interest in him that I remember sitting in the cafeteria at the Art Institute listening to them exchange stories about his activities. Somewhere I had read about Gurdjieff, who died in 1949. The author said that some people described him as a mysterious and suspect magician while others called him a brilliant philosopher. Mr. Bennett had many positive things to say about him yet also included information about his own falling out with Gurdjieff’s followers. They didn’t approve of Bennett teaching Gurdjieff’s philosophy because he mixed it with his own spiritual and scientific interests. What was all the fuss? Wasn’t it natural to digest and integrate your experiences, no matter how diverse they might seem to other people?
In Witness, Bennett also wrote about his gifts with language and an admirable persistence he applied to learning regarding his spiritual life. He sounded evenhanded because he also addressed his weaknesses, pointing out, especially, his slow comprehension of emotional circumstances.
I did not understand the degree to which Bennett devoted his life to his philosophical writings about a unified theory of energies from mechanical to cosmic, or how he understood human life to fit into the universal scheme of things. Nor did I have a clear picture of the methods he researched for aiding students he taught, although he discussed sacred dances called Movements, different types of meditation and prayer, and mystical experiences he’d had while studying with his teachers.
Judging by the dates of events in Bennett’s life, I assume he is no longer alive; however, at Robin’s next class, he hands me a brochure. It’s the Prospectus of the International Academy for Continuous Education, a new ten-month program Mr. Bennett is holding at a place called Sherborne House. He is alive…and taking students! Robin is corresponding with him. The school is located in the Cotswolds, a region in England known as the West Midlands, an interesting twist on where I live—the Midwest, Chicagoland, as we refer to it.
On the cover is a somewhat fuzzy picture of an English manor with barren trees and their long shadows in the foreground indicating it to be winter. Within the booklet is a riveting photo of students wearing loose white tunics over baggy white pants gathered at the ankles—costumes worn for public demonstrations of the moving meditations known as Movements. The dancers are barefoot, standing in postures that reminded me, with my background in art, of ancient temple sculptures. Bennett’s first course of the five that he intends to preside over is already in progress.
On the first page of the prospectus, it says that it is addressed to people who care about the future… “especially to those who have already searched and experimented with politics, social service, those who have looked for new experience in travel, in sex or in drugs, for those who have tried religion or plunged into one of the many ‘isms’ and movements that promise a new world, and have found them all lacking in an essential ingredient: that is practicality. … It is particularly directed to those who are acutely aware of an unrealized self, of energies squandered and of time wasted—who are prepared to go through a hard training in order to change. It is above all, for those who have realized that the ‘first step in helping the world is to help oneself’ that inner change must come before outer change.”
How could I not think it is addressed to me? Sherborne’s curriculum has the dichotomous task of providing a demanding schedule of classes, housework, and gardening while at the same time conveying through self study exercises the meaning of human freedom as it develops from inside the individual. This is the kind of information I’m looking for.
I hold the prospectus in my hands only for a moment, my mind racing to take this all in, when I hear my voice say to Robin, “I’m going there.”
Back home that night I recall how I’d gone with my mother and Aunt Mary to England the previous spring. On the flight home, Aunt Mary asked me, “Hadn’t you been to England on your long trip last year?”
“No. I’d meant to but it always seemed out of the way.” Then I added, with no specific intention, “You know, after all these travels, this is the only country I have an interest in returning to.”
All human beings should try to learn before they die.
What they are running from, and to, and why. _James Thurbe
January 15th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Hi, Barbara June! You were our art teacher at Claymont. I have good memories of our times together.
January 15th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Barbara June, as I live and breathe. I often think about you! I am thankful Bennett Books sent this Blog. I like your writing and I like your artwork, and look forward to further instalments. I am still on Vancouver Island and just recently started working, on line, with a worldwide group lead by John (Hutch) Hutcherson. You look good and I hope you are well.
Love Harold
January 16th, 2010 at 3:01 am
Barbara,
Wonderful that you’re writing your Sherborne experience. I often wonder too why more of us have not sought to set down the remarkable experiences we encountered there.
I hope you remember me. I was one of the shyest of the 2nd-year lot, but you were always generous with your attention and we had some wonderful laughs together.
Remember the first set of groups–A, B, & C. Then the next lot of three–D, E, & F, new groups which came together once Mr. B. and the other teachers had decided who might relate to whom. I was in F and I think you were, too, and the gossip always was that F was composed of the klutzes–F Troop as the more bodily able members of D & E called us. Of course, many of us were klutzes. Remember the time when Anne Durko exploded in movements class, pronoucing the fact (true) that we had no respect for our bodies! Yikes.
Is the entire memoir finished, or are you writing this as you go? Whatever, I hope it can eventually be published. It brings back the most extraordinary ten months of my life. Many, many thanks. I hope your effort will be a model for others. Perhaps also this is one way where we might find each other again. I so often think of folks from that time and wonder where and how they are.
Hello to all other Sherborners out there, esp. 2nd-year folks.
David Seamon, 2nd year
drseamon@aol.com
January 16th, 2010 at 6:10 am
Barbara,
What a world of hyparchic memories your writing inspires! Just found your
story today and agree with David Seaman’s point that you are perhaps
providing the way for us essence experience comrades to find each other
again. I spent years researching Mr B’s life and documenting an account
of his last years but have not yet been able to share in writing about Sherborne
experiences. Please continue inspiring us.
Ken Shear IACE 2
January 16th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
This is my first attempt at contributing to a “blog” (yuck - what an ugly word!) and I have no real idea how to. I don’t even know whether I should be writing in this box. But, you know what, I don’t care! I simply can’t resist the possibility of making a fool of myself in such wonderful company as Ken Shear, David Seamon and any other 2nd yearers as might be lurking.
My e-mail address for Work-related messages is - thedoguk@aol.com and for friendly, social stuff - theperrotts@aol.com.
Love and best wishes to you all!
John P
January 17th, 2010 at 12:22 am
Ken,
Have you published any of your documentation of Bennett’s life, esp. the last years? If so, is any of it available in print or on the web? If not, I hope you will sooner or later make it available and make sure it is published. Very important. Glad you posted.
David Seamon, 2nd year Sherborne
January 17th, 2010 at 7:58 am
I love hearing from you all, Don, Harold, David, Ken and John, and hope you’ll contribute some of the experiences you’re reminded of to this blog. To answer David’s question, the whole book is written except i’m re-writing as i go along. I belong to a “read and critique” writers’ group and the four other members are not familiar with Mr. B or the work and we often have some very interesting conversations from the material, though little of the story is highly philosophical. Ken, if you have some of your writing on the internet make a link to it.
January 17th, 2010 at 10:20 am
This is most wonderful and swell.
January 17th, 2010 at 11:53 am
David,
I chose a college to attend that allowed independent study and wrote my
thesis on Systematic Phenomenology during the second course at Sherborne.
Mr. B then allowed me to return for the third and fourth courses as Will Type
Research fellow and it was then that I became concerned with making notes
on the diagrams he put on the chalkboard during his talks which I was
responsible for taping. I also always made notes of his comments
when reading All and Everything especially when he indicated that he would
say it differently than G. For example rather than “be cognizant of the
inevitability of their own death” B said “see the state of their own soul”.
Once I asked him for permission to tape his talk to visitors and he said
“whatever for?” to which I responded “for posterity”. He had given me
access to his unpublished works when I had been writing the Systematics
paper on course 2 but on course 3 after returning from Sharma”s
clinic where he had nearly died he gave me gave me many of his personal
papers. Bennett left a huge paper trail. Olga had saved all kinds of stuff
from Coombe. Ouspensky’s meetings in London had been scribed. Soon I
realized it was possible to account for his work over 50 years. I spent 3 years
in the 90’s interviewing all the old timers in the UK. My date research note
s fill 50 or so large notebooks. For nearly 10 years they have been in
boxes while I’ve been caring for my late father and my now 92 year old mum.
I am about to get them out and begin writing.
Ken
January 17th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Barbara,
As I contemplate writing Sherborne Tales I am curious about why you feel it
necessary to not use peoples actual names.
Ken IACE 2
January 17th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
Ken, Barbara June, and all,
Archiving and keeping alive Bennett’s work is important. From what I understand, there are a number of efforts in this direction, though it seems the best route would be one “center” where everything could be compiled, indexed, and eventually studied–perhaps something similar to the Ouspensky archives at Yale University. A number of years ago several Sherborners founded a Bennett Foundation, but I don’t know its status at this point.
As you may know, a few folks in academia have become interested in Bennett’s work; I know of one master’s thesis and one doctoral dissertation written in the last several years. Though some in the “Work” will be skeptical, one important venue for keeping Bennett’s legacy alive is to get it known and studied in academic circles. There is also the annual Gurdjieff conference, which I know John Perrot has attended (Tony Bennett too, and probably some other Sherborners whose names I don’t recognize).
Ken, I hope you will be able to return to your studies. What you say indicates you have some important documents and resources the contents of which should get public hearing. By the way, I”m glad to hear you recorded the blackboard drawings that Bennett produced as he was giving his various Sherborne talks. I’ve often thought, listening to one of the tapes in which he makes reference to the blackboard, how helpful it would be to have the drawing about which he was speaking.
Have you digitized the thesis you wrote? I’d very much like a copy if so. My email is:
drseamon@aol.com
Barbara June, very much look forward to upcoming installments!
David Seamon
January 18th, 2010 at 1:38 am
Barbara,
Am waiting for next installment too. Am on a road trip without my laptop
and can’t see well enough on my cell screen to write easily so will rejoin
Blog when home.
Ken
January 19th, 2010 at 12:10 am
Hello everyone!
Barbara June, have a safe road trip, and I look forward to ‘more’.
David, I agree with you - we all would benefit from ‘finding’ each other again. One of our strengths is in our shared experiences together, for in many cases our essence was involved. It may help us leave something for the future! Also, I checked your website and discovered we share thoughts and feelings about that great architect, Christopher Alexander.
Ken, you might remember me, we met, I believe, at Bruce and Jan’s place in North Bend, late 70’s or early 80’s. Thank you for all the taping work that you did – I have everything to date and Ben tells me that there are many more to come. I still use these tape in my work and research, as there is something deeper in listening to Mr. Bennett live, as opposed to just reading him. I am one who ‘just’ missed Mr. Bennett, getting to the 2nd Basic Course at Claymont in 1976. BUT, the energy, the feeling, perhaps even the essence, of Mr. Bennett and Sherborne, to me at least, was very strong there, much of it coming through the Sherborne people like Barbara June, Pierre, Michael Sutton, and many, many more.
Ken, one thing that I heard in the late 70’s was that Mr Bennett was compiling a list of stories of how different people got to Sherborne - Do you know anything about that? I have heard and read enough, including my own little story, to believe that something real was going on at that time and some good for the future could come from getting enough stories to make a book. I am not a writer but would certainly do my part with my ‘how I got there’ story.
For anyone interested, one of the things I am currently working on is a very detailed reading and comparison of the 1950 published edition of Beelzebub’s Tales with the 1931 Typescript. Mr. Bennett often referred to many things being easier to understand in the earlier Typescript edition and especially chapters like Purgatory. We are currently just finishing the Purgatory chapter and, for me at least, it is true that the ideas are much more directly stated and easier to grasp in the earlier edition.
One last thing – There is a new book, from a PHD Theses, just on the writings of Mr. Gurdjieff - Gurdjieff and Hypnosis, A Hermeneutic Study by Mohammad H. Tamdgidi. Though there are some mistakes I think that it is a necessary book for any student of Mr. Gurdjieff’s Ideas. Let me know if any of you are interested and I will send information.
Harold
Email: fineaudio@shaw.ca
January 19th, 2010 at 1:21 am
Harold,
Interesting to hear about the GURDJIEFF AND HYPNOSIS book. Is that the title? Who is Tamdgidi? As I said earlier, I know of two academic theses–one on Bennett’s importance for a new environmental ethics by a fellow named Bruce Monserud (the thesis is on line); the other, a comparison/contrast of Bennett and Gurdjieff, asking if Bennett was or was not an “orthodox” Gurdjieffian. Actually, quite a well written dissertation. By a fellow named William Thompson.
Glad you like Alexander. He’s one of the great thinker/makers of our time. There are many parallels between his vision and Bennett’s understanding of wholeness. Alexander’s 4-volume THE NATURE OF ORDER (2002-05) is a remarkable work. In fact, I’ve been using some Bennett’s systematics ideas to interpret what I call Alexander’s “phenomenology of wholeness.”
Is the 1931 typescript of BT the one that has been available for sale recently? A bound version of typescript pages? I have that copy and wonder if that’s the one you’re using (I’m in my office right now so can’t check). Will you be writing up your findings? IF so, I would appreciate a copy. Would be the sort of project that could be presented at the annual Gurdjeiff conference.
It appears that much of Bennett’s written legacy (including those student Sherborne stories you mention) have been dispersed in many different directions. It would be useful to find a way to gather them all back together into some kind of “clearing house.” That would be one worthy project for all us Sherborners/Claymonters!
David Seamon
January 20th, 2010 at 5:33 am
What? You people are still alive?
Ghosts from a long ago dream;
Rivers from springs unseen.
even Perrott?
January 20th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Hey Fish,
Where are you? Need to talk to you.
Ken Shear
January 20th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Harold,
I do remember you from North Bend. The 500 words or less accounts
that Sherborne students were asked to write was part of the Will
Type research. Bennett was wanting to know whether people
had recognition or precognition that it was right to come be with him.
Will write more to you about it soon as I am still without use of my computer.
Ken Shear
January 20th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Thank goodness, Ken, for your doing all that work on Mr. B’s writings as you’ll soon see how i do not do his philosophy any sort of justice and we can refer those hungry for that information to you.
David, I was in group E, what i thought of as the average group. Always average…sigh.
About my not using real names, aside from the untrustworthiness of memory, some of the stories i relate might not be seen by the person with whom i had the interaction as correct or kind. I don’t tell the story to expose them, only myself. If you wonder if a story is about you, just ask. I don’t write about nearly all the people in my memory, just a simplified version, trying to capture the overall experience of the course, for people who were not there.
February 12th, 2010 at 12:48 am
“”rather than “be cognizant of the
inevitability of their own death” B said “see the state of their own soul”.”
Someone says this in one of the comments above… but if your own soul is what you are creating in this work, part of the process to get there is to “be cognizant of the inevitability of”… one’s own death! How can one “see the state of” one’s own soul? So often we assume we have a soul! But we must create it, and I always try to keep in the forefront of my mind the “terror of the situation” to galvanize myself to the task. Words are such awkward things to try to explain the wordless experiences…